Disney Movie Bloopers
by Monolaf317
Summary: Animated bloopers for mostly Frozen, but contains outtakes for Big Hero 6 and more movies, too.
1. Chapter 1

Disney Movie Bloopers

(Hiro showcasing his microbots, when the microbots go in the hand shape, they create a "flipping the bird" shape towards the camera. The audience below screams)

Hiro: (trying to control his laughter) S-sorry!

Director: Cut! That is not appropriate!

...

(Hiro showcasing his microbots, when the microbots try to support him stepping off the small tower, they're too late and Hiro crashes to the bottom. The audience below screams)

Hiro: (offscreen) I'm okay!

Director: Cut!

...

(Drunk!Baymax is supposed to be petting his "Hariy Baby" upstairs, but he's not)

Baymax: (Spinning around in circles with his arms out) I'M A BALLERINAAA!

Hiro: (unable to keep a straight face, is laughing so hard he fell on the ground, asks the director) C-can we do this tomorrow?

(Everyone, even the Director is laughing)

Director: Ha, c-cut, ha…

...

(During _Fixer Upper_)

Troll Kid: _Or that he sometimes leaves his fly down? _(Troll kids stack up in front and help zip Kristoff's fly back up).

Kristoff: (covering his crotch) HEY!

Anna: (covering her eyes) Nope, I did not see that.

Director: Cut! Did you just make that up because it was down the _whole time_?

...

(During _Fixer Upper_ (again))

Troll Kid: _Or that he wears girly underwear? _(Troll kids stack up from behind and pull Kristoff's pants down, revealing that he wears _tightey-whites_. The crew roars in laughter).

Kristoff: (pulling his pants back up) Why, you little-!

Anna: (covering her eyes) Nope, I did not see that either.

Director: Cut! I told you that you that was scrapped!

...

(During the first part of the Marshmallow encounter, Anna is getting ready to throw the snowball)

Anna: I'm calm.

Kristoff: Great. (Anna throws the snowball anyway.) Aw, come on! (The snowball flies up-and hits Marshmallows left eye instead of his left shoulder. Marshmallow covers the half of his face and starts screaming in agony). Great, you just knocked out his eye!

Anna: I was trying to hit his shoulder!

Director: Cut! Medics!

...

(During the scene with Hans at the coronation party)

Anna: …And I had a whole parlor to myself to slide! (Her hand was supposed to reach out and slap Hans, but accidently goes the opposite way, pulling his pants down to reveal his _black boxers_. Anna quickly realizes what she has done and covers her face as the crew starts laughing). Oh, s-sorry, I uh, I didn't mean-

Hans: (Pulling his pants back up) Ha ha, very funny.

Director: Cut!

...

(Before the start of _For the First Time in Forever Reprise_)

Elsa: We can't. Goodbye Anna. (She turns around to reveal to the camera that she had accidently tucked the back of her dress into her _tight_ _purple_ _drawers_. The crew starts laughing and Elsa turns back around again) Huh? (She turns around and looks down to realize the situation. She sheepishly pulls the dress out) (Laughing nervously)

Director: Cut!

...

(At the end of _For the First Time in Forever Reprise_, when Elsa shoots out the ice.)

Elsa: I CAN"T!

(The large piece _does not _go into Anna's heart, but the smaller pieces just shred her dress. Anna looks down at her ruined dress in disdain)

Olaf: (off-screen) Anyone for cribbage? Eee hee hee… (Anna's dress falls apart, leaving her standing in her _green camisole and bloomers_. She quickly covers up in embarrassment as the crew starts laughing)

Director: Cut!

...

(Side Note: See, it would be funny and symbolic to expose the characters listed underwear in _Frozen_ to show how Kristoff and Elsa are people who like to "hold everything together" while Anna and Hans prefer to "swing free" some more)

...

(After falling off the cliff)

Olaf: I don't have a skull…or bones, (Continues babbling on) or blood, or a stomach, or intestines, or lungs, or gums, or teeth, or a thorax, or underwear, or a p-.

Kristoff: (covers Olaf's mouth) TOO MUCH INFORMATION!

Director: Cut!

...

(During _For the First time in Forever_)

Anna: (eating the chocolate) _I wanna stuff some chocolate in my-_(swallows too fast while talking and starts choking while grabbing her throat)

Director: CUT, HELP!

...

(Starting the "Meet Kristoff's family" scene)

Director: Action!

Kristoff: Guys, meet my family!

(One of the Trolls burps loudly in rock form and then unrolls)

Male Troll: WOO! I don't remember eating THAT!

Director: Cut!

(All the other trolls unroll too and start complaining how this is the _fifth_ take already for this scene)

Male Troll: Sorry! I had the bean burrito for lunch!


	2. Chapter 2

Here you go, more bloopers!

…

(Honey Lemon is throwing her chemical ball weapons. She throws a ball but it does not go off)

Honey: Sorry, dud.

(Take 2, still no success)

Honey: Dud.

(Take 3)

Honey: (throws a ball and it hits crew member-and goes off this time) Sorry!

Director: Cut!

…

(Entering Elsa's Ice Castle)

Anna: Elsa? (Instead of coming down as normal, Elsa comes down the stairs with iPod, earbuds and dancing)

Elsa: (Singing _Defying_ _Gravity_) _As someone told me lately; "Everyone deserves the chance to fly!", and if I'm flying solo__, __at least I'm flying free!_

Anna: Elsa…Elsa!

Elsa: (still singing) _To those who'd ground me__, t__ake a message back from me, __tell them how I am, __defying gravity, __I'm flying high, __defying gravity, __and soon I'll match them in renown! __And nobody in all of-_

Anna: ELSA!

Elsa: (removes earbuds) Huh? (realizes that they're filming, blushes) Oh, I'm sorry, a-are we back already?

Director: CUT!

…

(At the end of _Let it Go_)

Elsa: _Let the storm rage oooonnn! _(An avalanche immediately comes crashing down on the castle)

(Take 2)

Elsa: _The cold never bothered me anyway._ (Turns and slams door-which gets caught on her cape and yanks her backwards) ACK! (Crew members laughing)

(Take 3)

Elsa: _The cold never bothered me anyway._ (Turns and slams door again-which shatters and falls into pieces. Turns back around to see destruction, horrified) NO!

Director: Cut!

…

(Hans leaning in for the betraying kiss scene)

Hans: Oh, Anna…if only there was someone out there who loved you. (Cellphone rings as Hans walks to window.) Hm? (He picks up) Hello? Yes, this is Hans…

Anna: (confused by change) Uh…?

Hans: (on phone) What's that? You got me a cameo role in _Big Hero 6_ like I asked? Oh, good! I'll be right there tomorrow-.

Anna: Hans, you're messing up the scene!

Hans: Uh, hold on a sec- (covers mouthpiece, to cameraman) Hey, can you keep rolling?

Anna: You're making it worse!

Director: CUT! Why did you have your cellphone with you anyway?

Hans: SORRY! (to his Agent on the phone) I gotta go now, bye! (hangs up)

Anna: (yelling at Hans) Shut up! We've been working on this all week!

…

(Coronation morning scene)

Kai (the servant): (knocking) Princess Anna?

Anna: (waking up) Huh?

Kai: Princess Anna?

Anna: (sitting up) No, Officer, I swear… (the crew starts laughing) Huh? What'd I say? What?

(Take 2)

Kai: (Instead of calling Anna's name and knocking, he plays a bugle fanfare)

Anna: (bolts awake, startled) AHH! AHH! AHH! Private Anna reporting for duty SIR! (the crew laughs as she comes to realization) _Heeeyyy…_

Kai: (laughing) Sorry, I couldn't resist…

Director: Cut!

…

(After falling off the cliff)

Olaf: (to Kristoff) Hey, buddy, do me a favor and grab my butt. (Kristoff does grab Olafs moving butt-and then makes Olafs lips touch his own snow butt)

Kristoff: MWAH!

Olaf: YECH!

Kristoff: (laughing) Sorry, I just had to.

(Take 2)

Olaf: (to Kristoff) Hey, buddy, do me a favor and grab my butt. (Kristoff does-but puts Olaf's butt on Olaf's head)

Olaf: This just got a whole lot harder ya little (BEEP)r.

(Take 3)

Olaf: (to Kristoff) Hey, buddy, do me a favor and grab my butt. (Kristoff does-and shoves Olaf's face into in Olaf's own snow groin) That's it! I draw the line at facecrotch! Get my Agent on the phone! (is stumbling offcamera as he's saying this)

Director: Cut!

…

(The Duke enters Arendelle)

Director: Action!

Duke: Ah, Arendelle, out most mysterious trade partner-(wonder why his Guards and the rest of the crew are laughing at him) Huh? What's so-(realizes that somebody-Olaf-drew ink on his glasses, becomes annoyed) oh yes, how amusing.

Director: Cut!

…

(During _For the First Time In Forever_)

Anna: (sliding across the floor) _Why have a ballroom with no balls?_ (CRASH)

Director: Cut!

Anna (Offscreen): Can we puh-leese get some more wax on the floor? Oww…

…

(After falling off the cliff)

Anna: Now what? (Smooshes her face) Oohhhh, I am royally (BEEP)d! (starts corpsing a bit)

Kristoff: (laughing) Yeah, besides the weather, you also can't go back to Arendelle with language like _that_, young lady!

Director: Cut! Excuse me miss, you are a _princess_!

…

(Coronation party start)

Kai: Queen Elsa of Arendelle! (Elsa arrives) Princess Anna of-! (Anna rushes into the scene)

Anna: (very hyper) HI! HI! IIITSS! MEEE! (running all over the place)

Director: Cut! Who left the door to the cereal bar open?

…

(Note: Regarding the "cereal bar", there is one for employees at Pixar for breakfastime. And if somebody with a sweet tooth got continuous access to the sugary cereals…)

…

(During _Part of your World_)

Ariel: _Bright young women,_ _sick of swimming in our own-_

Sebastian: (Yanks her hair) SHHH! Don't say it, Ariel!

Director: Cut!

…

(During _Mother Knows Best_-the "candle" that Rapunzel is sitting near is actually a lit dynamite stick, placed by Pascal)

Gothel: _Mother's right here, Mother will protect-_(BOOM) (Rapunzel and Gothel are standing as smoldering statues) Rapunzel dearie, could you please fetch a fire extinguisher? Cough! (Falls down)

Director: Cut!


	3. Chapter 3

(During _One Jump Ahead_, Abu the monkey is supposed to be checking out a jewel cart while wearing a sultan hat-but it's somehow an underwear cart instead. Abu is putting a bra over his eyes while wearing a pair of briefs on his head and going "Woah!" as we hear the crew in the background laughing)

Guard: _Stop thief!_

Male Seller: _Vandal!_

Aladdin: ABU! (snatches Abu away)

Female Seller: _Scandal!_

Director: Cut! Why did we even have that cart?

...

(When Hiro and Baymax are sneaking out, Aunt Cass is watching a midnight movie-but it's not the horror one she's supposed to be watching…)

TV Woman: Oh John…

TV Man: Oh Mary…

TV Woman: Oh John!

TV Man: Oh Mary!

(Cass' eyes widen and she blushes the more intense the scene gets. Baymax stops to watch)

TV Woman: Oh John!

TV Man: Oh Mary!

TV Woman: OH JOHN!

TV Man: OH MARY!

(Not even Hiro is able to take his eyes off the steamy scene when he tries to snatch Baymax away)

Director: CUT! Who gave her the wrong tape?

Cass: (still watching the TV) Oh, but we always just could throw it in…

Director: No way, this is a Disney movie.

...

(During the escape scene)

Hiro: (while riding the motorcycle, suddenly gets knocked off by a boom mike) Ow!

Tadashi: Oh, sorry Hiro!

Director: Cut!

...

(During _Mother Knows Best_)

Gothel: (Demonstrating to Rapunzel)_ Ruffians, thugs! Poison ivy, quicksand! Cannibals and snakes,_ (is supposed to say the plague, but-) _EBOLA._

Rapunzel: No!

Gothel: Yes!

Rapunzel: But-!

Director: Cut, cut!

Gothel: Aw, come on, it's SO relevant! Can we keep that in?

Director: NO.

...

(in the ballroom, where Young!Elsa is making it snow)

Young!Anna: (jumping around happily) It's so amazing I'm gonna DIE!

Director: Cut!

Young!Elsa: Sorry! We watched _Despicable Me_!

...

(At the Oakens store scene)

Director: And…action!

Oaken: (holding up items) We have half-off on swimming suits, clogs, a sun balm of my own invention, and in case you're hungry, here's some cheese puffs [bags], and some keys. I don't know what they're for, but you never know...

...

(Coronation dance scene)

Duke: Like a chicken with the face of a monkey…I fly! (we hear a stretch sound and the Duke falls to the floor, pained) I think I pulled something. (remains on floor)

Anna: (to Director) Is this our cue to break for lunch?

Director: Cut, nope.

...

(At the Oakens store scene again)

Oaken: (holding up items) We have half-off on golf clubs and golf balls in case you have time for golf, and a plastic steak, and this rubber-ducky (squeaks the duck), and a yo-yo!

...

(At the snow-covered Arendelle)

Hans: The castle is open. There is soup and hot dogs in the main hall.

Duke: You idiot, it's hot _glogg_, not hot _dogs_! (under his breath) Stupid.

Director: Cut!

Hans: Sorry! Can we do this over?

...

(When running down the stairs, Young!Elsa and Young!Anna suddenly trip and roll down the stairs in a snowball fashion)

Director: Cut!

...

(At the Oakens store scene yet again)

Oaken: (holding up items) We have this extra bouncy, bouncy ball, and these fake toy teeth! Careful, they chatter! (throws the teeth at Anna, which immediately start chattering)

Anna: (fumbling the teeth in her hands) WOOAHH!

...

(Elsa creating Marshmallow, when he is finished being created…the entire floor breaks and everyone falls down-and starts laughing)

Director: Cut, it looks like this guy exceeds the weight limit here. A stronger ice floor, Elsa?

...

(At the Oakens store scene yet again)

Oaken: (holding up items) We have these crayons, in case you get bored, and also this pet rat for sale! (Anna runs off the set screaming as soon as she sees the large rat in the cage)

...

(Party is over scene)

Director: We're rolling!

(Elsa pushes the door open to the front courtyard, but before she can get out, the door closes and she bangs right against it and falls down. The crew laughs)

Director: Cut!

(Take 2)

(Elsa opens the door to the courtyard and before she can fully get out, the door closes, and her cape gets trapped on the door and she falls down. The crew starts laughing)

Director: Cut!

...

(Party is over scene (again))

(Elsa is trying to escape the crowd, but then accidently runs into the cameraman and the view gets knocked over when they both fall down)

Director: Cut!

...

(At the Oakens store scene for the fifth time)

Oaken: (holding up items) We have these free old dimes, call me, and Troll candy!

Anna: Troll candy? For what?

Oaken: Well, for the Trolls, of course! Hoo-hoo! Come here, Trolls! (Troll kids roll up and surround the counter)

Anna: (tired) Can we get on with the real scene now? (stumbling off set and puts hand over camera)

Director: Cut…

...

(When shooting the magic)

Merryweather: (shoots from her wand, but accidently gets blue colour on the camera. The view and cameraman fall over) Sorry!

Director: Cut!

Cameraman: My bad!

...

(When Elsa is crying over Annas frozen body, a cellphone suddenly rings)

Elsa: (stops crying) Hm? (She picks up her ringing phone) Hello? Elise, I told you not to call me today! We're filming! (An annoyed Hans, who was just knocked down, walks up, shakes his head, and puts his hand on the camera while Anna can't keep a straight face)

Director: Cuuuuut!

...

(Note: Who's Elise? That's basically the prototype Elsa with spiky black hair and evilness. In this, she's Anna's and Elsa's other sister/cousin. And yes, she also has ice powers. Oh, and by now you mave have noticed all the references to the _Mario Power Tennis_ blooper reel.)

...

(During the castle fight scene)

Elsa: No, please! (The soldier tries the shoot the arrow, but the crossbow then jams. Everyone laughs)

Soldier: (laughing) It's broken!

Director: Cut!

Crew member: My bad!

...

(Tigger bouncing (2011))

Tigger: Blugadeboo! (Bounces too high and crashes right through the ceiling)

Pooh: (stares at the ceiling) Oohhh, bother. (Turns to camera) The third take, right?

Director: Cut!

...

(Pooh's entrance (2011))

Pooh: How do I look? (The camera shows Winnie wearing a Monokuma costume-it fits _too_ perfectly and rather literally) I found it in the costuming department! (Giggles)

Narrator: (shielding his eyes, offscreen) Er, yes, it's very…resembling someone we don't wanna remember…SIIRR!

Director: CUT! I told you guys to get rid of that costume!

...

(During _For the First Time in Forever_)

Anna: _There'll be actual real live people-_(pulls the knight armors arm out-and the whole suit falls down into pieces) Ooops.

Director: Cut!

...

(At Elsa's ice palace)

Elsa: No. We can't. Goodbye Anna.

Anna: Elsa, wait.

Elsa: No, I'm just trying to protect-(gets interrupted by a crunching sound from below. Confused, she starts again) No, I'm just trying-(crunch) No, I'm just-(crunch) No, I-(crunch, then turns around and she starts speaking very fast in frustration) NoI'mjusttryingtoprotectyou! (crunch) Nnnng…! (Camera pans over to Olaf eating Cheese Puffs and completely covered in orange powder. The crew is laughing.)

Olaf: (holding bag) What?

Director: Cut!

...

(Betrayal scene)

Hans: Oh, Anna…if only there was someone out there who loved you.

Anna: Xanadu!

(Chamber scene)

Elsa: (sees what she has done out the bars) Fa-xanadu!

(After Great Thaw)

Hans: (Anna walk up to him on boat) Xanadu times two!

Director: Cut, cut, cut!

...

(Note: Only the most diehard Dangan Ronpa fan would know what the above means.)


	4. Chapter 4

(Preparing to jump off the cliff)

Anna: (gets on all fours with her butt arched up, like an animal ready to pounce) I was BORN ready!

Kristoff: Calm down-hey, put your butt down!

(Take 2, Marshmallow throws the tree)

Anna: (jumps off) _YOLO! _(pulls Kristoff with her)

Kristoff: (deadpan) Yeah, _YOLO_ happened.

Director: Cut!

…

(Tarzan carrying Jane scene)

Jane: (suddenly gagging) Gasp! Gag! I think I swallowed a bug! Cough!

Director: Cut!

…

(Swinging around tree)

Rapunzel: Woo-Hoo! Best! Day! Ever! WHOA! (Smushes Flynn right into tree)

Flynn and Rapunzel: (simultaneously) Ow.

Director: Cut! You need to work on your angle, Rapunzel!

…

(Spinning with the bust during _For the First Time in Forever_)

Anna: _Nothing like the life I've led so far-_(throws the bust and it smashes right into a wall)

(Take 2)

Anna: _Nothing like the life I've led so far-_(throws the bust and it smashes right into a window)

(Take 3)

Anna: _Nothing like the life I've led so far-_(throws the bust and it smashes right into the camera) Sorry!

(Take 4)

Anna: _Nothing like the life I've led so far-_(the bust slips out of her hands and almost lands on her foot. She quickly steps away) I'm okay!

Director: Cut!

…

(Deleted scene, Hans is wearing prison stripes and sitting on a bed. We hear the cell clang shut)

Hans: (angry tone) _Love is an open door…_

Stromboli (aka The Satan Coachman from _Pinocchio_): (to Hans) HEY! (camera pans out to reveal he is lying on the upper bunk, also wearing prison stripes) SHUT the F%*#, UP!

…

(Minigame scene)

(Ralph is trying to get the YUCK and YUM ingredients from the balancer into the right containers when a TV falls on his head…and knocks him out cold. He falls to the bottom)

Director: Cut!

Vanellope: Ha ha! Don't expect mouth-to-mouth!

...

(Princess scene)

Director: Action!

Vanellope: Tut-tut! As your merciful princess, I hereby decree, that everyone who was ever mean to me shall be-(is supposed to say "executed", but instead waves her staff upward)

(beat)

Taffyta: (Confused by nothing happening) Eh? (She and all the other racers are struck by Big Lightning Bolts of Divine Retribution. When the smoke clears, we see black, frazzled, stunned, smoking statues of Vanellopes former bullies. Ralph, Felix, and Calhoun are laughing their heads off)

Director: (also laughing) C-cut!

…

(Practice driving scene)

Ralph: (showing Vanellope) That's the "go" pedal... And _that,_ I believe, is the...stopper. And this-(Pulls the driving stick right out of its place. Ralph and Vanellope start laughing)

Director: Cut!

…

(In the middle of _Fixer Upper_, Hans suddenly jumps in and bumps Kristoff out of the view)

Hans: Yes, she is engaged to _me_! (Grabs Anna) Come on, sing with me! _I mean it's crazy… _(He _and_ Anna continue singing their song, but when they get to the near end, Anna is taken away by the Trolls using a vaudeville hook-Hans is singing all by himself now) _Love is an open door… _(Promptly gets pelted by rotten food thrown at him by the booing Trolls-yes, that includes the children) Ow! _Encore!_ Ow!

Director: CUT!

…

(Stress eating scene)

Cass: (angrily eating a donut) Stress eating! Because of you! Mm, this is _really_ good! (Suddenly grabs her throat) Uugh! I think I got a bad donut! (ducks below the camera and starts spitting. Hiro and Tadashi start laughing)

Director: Cut, cut!

…

(Running from Marshmallow scene)

Anna: (is running, but her cape gets caught on a branch and gets strangled) Gack! Choke!

Director: Cut!

…

(Backfiring montage)

Elsa: Stay away! (uses her hands-and there is an explosion. When the icy smoke clears, we see a frazzled, stunned Elsa covered in her own powdery snow and ice. A boom mike lowers)

Evil Queen (from _Snow White_): (Laughing evily) (at the cauldron, when she pours the ingredients in, there is an explosion-the Evil Queen is looking flazzled and stunned)

Ursula: (same thing as the Evil Queen, when putting the ingredients for the spell in a cauldron, there is an explosion! Ursula is covered in even more black from the big boom)

Flounder: (swims up to camera) Hey, if we're underwater, how can there be a-(Smash Cut to next blooper)

…

(Party scene)

Maleficent: "Why, no, Your Majesty. And to show I bear no ill will, I, too, shall bestow a gift on the child. Listen well, all of you! The princess shall indeed grow in grace and beauty, beloved by all who know her. But... before the sun sets on her sixteenth birthday, she shall prick her finger on the spinning spindle (suddenly goes off track)-blblblblblbl-(facepalms)OHIdon'tknowwhatI'mdoing. (Crew laughing)

(Buzzer sound effect)

…

(During _For the First Time in Forever Reprise_)

Elsa: _Just stay away and you'll be_ SAFE-! (Anna has stepped on her (Elsa's) cape and Elsa has fallen face-down onto the floor)

(Take 2)

Director: Rrrrrrrolling!

Elsa: _What do you mean we're not?_

Anna: _I get the feeling you don't know!_

Elsa: (Rolls eyes) _What do I not know?_

Anna: _Arendelle's in deep, deep, deep, deep…doo-doo._

(Next camera shot, Elsa covers her mouth with both hands to stifle laughing and turns away from camera)

(Take 3)

Anna: _Arendelle's in deep, deep, deep, deep…_

Elsa: Sandwiches?

Anna: That's what I was gonna say? (They burst out laughing)

(Take 4)

Anna: _Don't panic!_

Elsa: _There's so much fear!_

Anna: (trying not to smile, but can't) Elsa, what did I JUST say?

(Both girls try to hold back, but then start laughing very hard, unable to stop)

Director: Cut, cut!

…

(During _Let it Go_)

Elsa: _I don't care-_(shoots snow) _what they're going to say-_(shoots snow-and it hits crew member) Sorry!

(Take 2)

Elsa: _The cold never bothered me anyway._ (Releases cape into the wind-and it gets stuck on poofy boom mike. The crew starts laughing, and Elsa walks back into the shot) What?

…

(Meet Kristoff's family scene)

Olaf: (Hugging a rock Troll while whispering to Anna) Because I love you Anna, I insist you go throw up! (beat, then everyone but Olaf starts laughing hysterically. The director can barely be heard yelling "cut".) What? What? What'd I say? What?

…

(Wolf chase scene)

Anna: (holding a lute) IT'S TRUE LOVE! (swings lute-and knocks Kristoff right out of the sled) Oh my gosh! I'm sorry!

Director: Cut!

…

(Ralph crashes into Sugar Rush, he is on the ground, when suddenly…the Kool-Aid guy crashes through the wall and says, "OH YEAH!")

Ralph: (pointing and asks the director) Where'd _he_ come from?

Director: Uh, cut?

…

(When the soldier is muttering over and over again, he walks right into the wall. But instead of being stuck in that spot, Ralph hears a _crash_ sound and then the camera shows an Impact Silhouette of the solider in the wall)

Ralph: (Points to wall) Uh, I think this guy needs a second take here.

(Buzzer sound effect)

…

(Sacrifice scene-presented in slow motion for drama in the movie)

Anna: NOOOO! (Falls down and hits the icy ground-in slow motion. Hans and Elsa then turn around and laugh in-also in slow motion)

Director: (In slow motion) Cut!


	5. Chapter 5

Predicted character blood types (look it up)-

Anna: O

Elsa: A

Hans: B

Kristoff: AB

Olaf: If he had blood like a human, it would be type O.

Sven: If reindeer's blood types were like humans, it would be B.

…

(And now…a tribute to _The Lego Movie_ Oscar performance)

(Sled ride)

Kristoff: Eye colour?

Anna: Dreamy.

Kristoff: (smiles mischievously) Favourite song?

Anna: (starts singing happily) _Everything is Awesome_!

Kristoff and Anna: (joining in together) _Everything is cool when you're part of a team_!

...

(The Pub guys are singing _Everything Is Awesome_ and ask Flynn to join in)

Flynn: I don't sing. (many swords get pointed at him) _Everything is awesome_!

(He sings _better_ than _any_ of the pub guys!)

...

(Anna gets bumped by Sitron)

Anna: Hey!

Hans: I'm sorry, are you alright?

Anna: (lovestruck) Heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy…

Hans: (confused) Hello…?

Anna: Yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy…

Hans: Uh, Anna?

Anna: Yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy…

Hans: (Turns to the director-Anna is still going.) Can we have the re-take now?

Director: Cut!

…

(During _Let It Go_)

Elsa: _I'm never going back, the past is in the past_! (throws the tiara…and we hear something shattering offscreen) Thank goodness that wasn't a _real_ tiara.

(Beep beep)

…

(Arriving at Elsa's palace, Marshmallow is supposed to look like a mound of snow near the stairs)

Hans: Hey guys, uh, where's Marshmallow? (we then hear a loud crunching sound from offscreen)

Marshmallow: (from the Men's Room offscreen) AHH! DO NOT EAT THE BLUE MINTS! PFT!

(Beep beep)

…

(After falling off the cliff)

Kristoff: Thankfully, I have a thick skull.

(Beat)

Kristoff and Anna: (look around) Olaf? (we hear a flushing sound from offscreen)

Olaf: (runs out from the Men's Room offscreen) AH! PFT! PFT! PFT! DO NOT DRINK THE LEMONADE!

(Beep beep)

…

(Deleted Scene)

(Rapunzel runs over to Flynn)

Flynn: (notices what's in Rapunzel's hand) Are those the red berries?

Rapunzel: Mn-hm.

Flynn: Found those in the small bushes?

Rapunzel: Mm-hmm. (eats all the berries from her hand at once)

Flynn: They're _poisonous_-(Smash cut instead to Flynn standing in front of an actual outhouse-crescent moon on the door. We see a long trail of blond hair from the door…_Not_ part of the script. Flynn looks at the cameraman and points to door) Told you we should've used benign cherries. Fire in the h-

Rapunzel: (from inside) FIRE THE SCRIPT WRITER!

Flynn: Yeah, that's _one_ scene that will never see the light of day in a Disney movie.

(Bell rings)

…

(Princess scene)

Director: Action.

Vanellope: Tut-tut! As your merciful princess, I hereby decree, that everyone who was ever mean to me shall be... (other racers look on with anticipation) ...killed and have their livers eaten. (All the racers run around screaming, crying, panicking, and bumping into things hysterically. The crew, Ralph, Felix, and Calhoun are laughing loudly)

Director: CUT!

…

(Leaving scene)

Vanellope: (tearing up) You know you can just stay here and live in the castle. You'd have your own wing where no one would ever complain about your stench and treat you bad ever again. You could be happy. (Suddenly smiles) We two 're gonna stay up all night, swappin' duty stories, and in the morning—I'm makin' _waffles! _(Laughs)

(Beep)

…

(Sitting in his throne)

Hades: All men, including the Hercules guy, must choose between two paths: good is the path of honour, heroism, and nobility. Evil…well, it's just cooler. (winks at the camera) Sorry, I just had to.

(Buzzer sound)

…

(Palace scene)

Anna: (slides to stairway and shouts dramatically) NOBODY MOVE!

Elsa: (appearing) Uh, Anna?

Anna: Elsa, I've got to get you out of here before you touch yourself! (beat) HAAHH-! (Both laugh. Elsa facepalms and blushes. The crew roars with laughter)

(Beep beep)

…

(Fireplace scene)

Olaf: (as he sits down behind Anna) I am not leaving here until we find some other act of true love to save you... (smiles) while I sit here on my _abbondanza_! (Anna laughs, and so does he)

Director: Oh, cut!

…

(Music Lesson scene)

Director: Action!

Lady Tremaine: Girls, girls…above all, self-control. (Cinderella knocks, Lady Tremaine slams piano) YES!? (The piano explodes from pressing the dynamite keys and pieces fly everywhere. There top half of the piano is completely blown off. Lady Tremaine is smoked from the explosion, and her wig was burned up in the explosion.)

…

(Last Race Start)

King Candy: (He goes way off track when the race starts and crashes right into the bleachers. He tells the camera-) It's my bad, I was sending a tweet. (Holds up his still-intact phone)

…

(Last race scene)

Vanellope: (sees potential for glitch power) Oh, Sugar Honey Ice Tea! Wait, line?

(Buzzer sound)

…

(Defrosting scene)

Elsa: (Stops crying and looks up at the unfrozen Anna.) Anna! (The crew and Anna suddenly start laughing. Elsa is puzzled.) What? WHAT? (Anna presents her a mini-mirror. Elsa realizes that the water on her eyes made her mascara run. Her face is a total mess of purple streaks) Oh no.

…

(Car chase scene)

GoGo: (Takes out gum) That's. It. (She gets on the seat drives like crazy away from Yokai when she sees a sexy billboard of Evangelion's Kaworu Nagisa-the camera pans on it for a moment. She and Honey turn their heads and stare longingly with blushing smiles. We hear the men in the car indistinctively shouting at her and there is a delay before GoGo finally comes to her senses and turns her head back to the road) Huh? (sees the danger) OH NO! (Tries to brake, but it's too late. We hear the crew screaming. GoGo crashes the car right into a brick walled building. The airbags go off, and we hear the blaring of the horn and car alarm.)

Director: Call an ambulance!

…

(After The Great Thaw)

Olaf: (as he's melting on the ship, he moans in Mock Drama) _Iiiimmmm melllllttiiiinnngggggg…. melllllttiiiinnngggggg…_

(Jump cut to next blooper)

…

(Party scene)

Hans: (after catching Anna) I'm so glad I caught you. (Accidently drops champagne glass on floor-it shatters-when it was supposed to go back on the tray) Whoops.

(Take 2)

Hans: (after catching Anna) I'm so glad I caught you.

Anna: (Sees assortment of chocolates being carried on tray by servant walking by) Mine? (Breaks away from Hans and chases after the tray) Mine, mine, mine, mine! MINE!

Director: Anna please, don't get distracted by food like a seagull! Stick with the script!

…

(Sled scene)

Kristoff: (to Anna) So, what made the queen go all ice-crazy? (No response from Anna, smiling and eyes half-closed) Hey. Hey! HEY!

Anna: (who can't hear him because of the music blaring in her ears. She removes an earbud) WHAT?

(Buzzer sound)

…

(After Hans finishes his speech-in middle of all of it, _Super Psycho Love_ had been playing in the background, for now they are ignoring the unusual BGM)

Anna: You won't get away with this.

Hans: (at the door) Oh, I already have. (they both notice the music _still_ hasn't stopped.) Alright, who's playing that?

Female Crew member: April Fools! Ha-ha!

Director: I _hate_ that song.

…_  
><em>(Party is over scene)

Director: Marker! Take four! Action!

Elsa: (Backing away) No… (she backs too far and accidently inserts her hand into the water instead of the rim. Her arm gets trapped in the frozen fountain. The crew starts laughing) (Elsa starts laughing) A little help here, please? (Laughs even harder)

…

(During _Do You Want To Build a Snowman_)

Young!Anna: _It doesn't have to be a snowman!_

Young!Elsa: Go away, Bonnie!

(The crew starts laughing at the Wrong Name Outburst)

Young!Anna: (Confused) Bonnie who?

(Take 2)

Anna: (Sitting down) _What are we gonna do…? _(Leans back-and falls backward onto the floor…Elsa had left the door open. We can hear Elsa and the Director laughing, and Anna starts smiling.) Aw, now it's not sad anymore.

…

(When the characters from the Bad-anon are walking into the Game Central Station, the first in line trips falls down. We notice Bowser pointing and laughing, then all the other villains trip and fall down too)

(Bell rings)


	6. Chapter 6

(Now with _Frozen Fever_ outtakes!)

…

(Elsa is making the ice sculptures on top of the cake. The director is whispering things for her like to "slow down", or "speed up a little." Elsa finally gets pissed off and makes a sculpture of the words "HOT CAKES" on the cake. The crew laughs.)

Elsa: Okay, fine!

Director: The hell…?

…

(Climbing the clock tower)

Elsa: _Climb to the end, we're on our way to a smacked bottom…_ (stops acting sick) uhhh…

(Bell rings as the crew starts laughing)

…

(On top of the clock tower, Elsa stumbles and falls off the clock tower-and Anna _doesn't_ catch her in time. We don't hear anything from Elsa as she crashes to the ground. We people gasping)

Anna: (peering down to the bottom) Elsa?

Director: Cut!

…

(On top of the clock tower, instead of spinning around the wooden beam, Elsa smacks frontal into it and sinks down. A boom mike lowers)

…

(When grabbing the fishing rod, Elsa accidently bumps into the boat, falls into it, and they land into the water. Anna laughs)

Director: Oh, cut!

…

(Hans positions the arrow to shoot at the chandelier, but the arrow doesn't fly out very far at all, and thuds on the ground. He, the soldiers, and Elsa shrug and start laughing.)

Director: Cut!

…

(Climbing the stairs)

Anna: (her voice sounds weird) Elsaaa?

Elsa: (leaning on the railing and holding a chocolate liqueur bottle in her hand, actually truly drunk) What? _I'mm fiinnnee…_ (everyone except the director starts laughing)

Director: Wait, is that a wine bottle?

Female Crew member: (storms in) Who broke into the studio bar and snagged up the last precious bottle of "Mickey's DeLight"?

Elsa and Anna: (Anna is also truly dunk) Ya talkin' to me?

Director: OUT! OUT!

…

(Escaped the wolves, the sled crashes to the ground and explodes)

Kristoff: (not sad, instead smiles) I can't park there, it's a white zone!

Anna: Kristoff, _everywhere_ here is a white zone!

(Beep)

…

(Prepping for Anna's party)

Kristoff: Maybe I should dress up in my birthday suit.

(Beat)

Elsa: I'm trying to resist the urge to gouge out my eyes.

(Beep beep)

…

(During the children's choir)

Anna: (takes a bite of the prop sandwich-and nearly shatters her teeth, _Tom and Jerry_ style.) Ah-mnn! (She storms offscreen in pain and kludds the director with said prop)

Director: OW! Okay, fine! We'll use a real sandwich!

…

(Climbing the mountain)

Kristoff: What are you doing?

Anna: (attempting to climb said mountain) I'm, going, to see, my sister.

Kristoff: You're gonna kill yourself.

Anna: Think _positive_!

Kristoff: Okay. I'm positive that you will kill yourself.

(Buzzer sound)

…

(Normally, I don't do Pixar movies, but this is an exception)

(Fergus and Elinor open the door, but it's not the door to reveal Merida eating an apple…)

Elsa: (the door opens to her singing in the ice-coated bathtub taking a shower, looks at the camera, then screams) AAAHH! (and covers up, turning red) What's happening?

Fergus: (backs away) Sorry…sorry!

Anna: (walks in, stands beside Elsa, furious) What is WRONG with you people?!

(Anna throws something and it hits Fergus in the face. The door slams shut)

…

(Maximus, not Sitron, is Hans' horse. When waving goodbye to Anna, Maximus jabs Hans into the stomach just like he did to Flynn in _Tangled_. Hans flies and splashes into the water with a yell.)

Director: Cut!

Flynn: (walks into scene) Hey, how was _that_? Was he funny? Does he get the part?

Director: Thank you.

Flynn: Aw, can he do it again? He can be _taller_!

Director: Next!

…

(I've always wanted to make a _The Great Muppet Caper_ reference!)

(Deleted scene in _Frozen Fever_, Elsa holds out a Polaroid camera and asks a nearby couple if…)

Elsa: How about you folks? Pretty picture with the Majesty and the birthday Princess together?

Man: No thanks, no pictures.

Anna: Aw, come on, it'll be a great memento for you and your wife!

Man: My wife isn't feeling very well.

Anna: (looks at the woman) Oh, that's too bad. Maybe she-(Eyes Elsa) _and my sister_-should be at home!

Man: My wife IS at home!

(Hearing that, Elsa and Anna flush red and stammer incoherently)

Elsa: Yes. (To Anna) _Next stop_!

…

(During _Let It Go_)

Elsa: _Let the storm rage ooonnnn! _(Pulls out phone in close-up shot) _But first, let me take a selfie._

…

(During the children's choir, Anna drops her gifts…and they all land on her foot.)

Anna: (Hopping around clutching her injured foot) OW! Ooh! Ah! Ow!

Elsa: (Turns around to see what happened, says in a low voice) Oh, goddamit…

…

(During _In Summer_)

Olaf: _And you guys will be here too…_ (rolls down hill) _when I final-_(rolls too far and crashes off camera) I'm okay! (Kristoff, Sven, and Anna turn their heads)

Director: Cut!

…

(Sees Anna is defrosted)

Hans: Hell, no. I did _not_ leave the Southern Isles for this!

Director: Cut!

…

(Shoveling manure)

Hans: (talking to the camera) One time, she punched me in the face. It was AWESOME. (Snowball hits him)

…

(Betrayal scene)

Hans: (walking to the fireplace) You were so desperate for love, you were willing to marry me, just like that! (less mean tone) It's not my fault you were, like, in love with me or something!

Director: Cut!

(Take 2)

Hans: (having put out the fireplace) But then she doomed herself, and you were dumb enough to go after her. (laughs) I'm Ben Affleck, and you're Cuba Gooding Jr., disappointing everybody! Live with that!

Anna: Very funny, Hans.

Director: Cut!

…

(Elsa causes the Great Thaw)

Anna: I knew you could do it. (Pats Elsa) You go…(snickers)…_Glen Coco_. (Everyone starts laughing)

Director: Cut!

…

(During Love is An Open Door, Hans and Anna are sliding on the floor)

Hans and Anna: _Love is an open door_-(completely wipe out)

(Take 2)

Hans and Anna: _Love is an open door_-(they bang against the locked door and fall down)

Anna: OH-DIDN'T OPEN!

…

(Introduction)

Baymax: On a scale of one to ten, how would you rate your pain? (instead of the chart, the monitor on his chest shows a clip of Hiro getting a game over during his attempted "Let's Play" of _Five Nights at Freddy's_) Oh no.

…

(Fred's introduction)

Fred: School mascot by day, but by night-(accidently flings the signboard and it smashes into something offscreen) Sorry!

…

(During the test videos)

Tadashi: I-it worked! Oh, this is amazing-(kludds his forehead against the screen and falls down backward)

Director: Cut!

…

(At the phone booth, Milo-from _Atlantis_-is dialing when suddenly…)

Fake Male Voice Message: The birth parents you are trying to reach, do not love you, please hang up. (DIAL TONE)

GLADOS: (from nowhere) Oh, that's sad.

…

(Baymax is walking on the roads with the microbot, when a cable bus smashes into him. Baymax goes flying, and we hear the crew laughing)

Baymax: (offscreen) Oh no.

…

(Riding the sled)

Anna: But _Hans_ is not a stranger.

Kristoff: (pretending to be stupid and changes his line) Wait, waitwaitwait, is this Hans a material, or a person, or both?

Anna: He's a _person_, Kristoff.

Kristoff: Alright, well, I'm gonna go now. (Gets up)

Anna: I'm sorry, was I not just in the _middle_ of a _story_?

Kristoff: Yeah, but I wasn't really that interested in it.

Anna: (annoyed) I swear to God, I'm this close, _this_ _close_.

…

(During _Les Poissons_)

Chef Lousie: _Love to chop and to serve little fish! First I cut off their heads, then I pull out their bones, and their guts-_

Sebastian: OH! Oh, _oh my God,_ please stop, I'm gonna be sick! (covers mouth) Ulp!

Director: CUT! You're not supposed to say anything, Sebastian!

…

Gogo: (instead of her "carbon fiber underpants" line, she says this about Baymax's outfit) Hiro, I didn't realize was a _Fullmetal Alchemist_ convention in town.

Hiro: (sarcastic) Oh, funny. I've never heard that one before. (Aside glance) Ever.

…

(Deleted scene at the ice castle)

Anna: Elsa, you do not have to stand alone anymore.

Elsa: No, stop. I _want_ to stand alone, that's the point-

Anna: We will stand together!

Elsa: Go stand over there with everyone else!

Anna: Oh, Elsa! We will be like Thelma, and um, um-

Elsa: Louise. No, goodbye, Anna. (Leaves. Anna follows Elsa) Stop it!

Anna: (to the camera) Yes, stop oppressing Elsa! (Anna is chasing Elsa all over the ice castle)

Elsa: No, _you_, stop following me!

Anna: (to Elsa) Yes, let us march and protest!

Elsa: Ahhhhh!

Anna: A circle unbroken!

Elsa: Oh my God!

Anna: Our voices shall be heard! Like the resistance!

…

(Before the final race starts)

Pinkie Pie: (teleports into shot, her face smeared with sugary goodness) HIII!

Vanellope: (sitting in her cart) In the game!? Pinkie Pie! What did the judge say?! He said 800 yards! This is not 800 yards! Don't you have an Amber Alert you should be running from?!

...

**If you want to know the making behind all these bloopers, check out my bio!**


	7. Chapter 7

(Ralph falls in the chocolate lake with a big splash)

Ralph: Chocolate! Ugh, I hate chocolate!

Anna: (enraged) HEY, RALPH! (camera zooms out to reveal her standing on the farther side of the lake, holding a large, striped straw in her hand) _MY RUINED CHOCOLATE!_

Kristoff: (Offscreen, pulls her out of the shot) Please Anna, not while they're filming!

(We should note that there are signs in the far background of Sugar Rush that read "DO NOT DRINK LAKE" and "NO SNACKING")

Elsa: (Walks up into the shot with her head down and covers the camera screen with her hands) Oh, how embarrassing…

Director: Cut!

…

(The snowgies all move into the ice palace at the end of _Frozen Fever_)

Marshmallow: (sees the sheer number of snowgies) _Oh sh*t._

Director: CUT! You can't curse in a Disney short!

Olaf: So you mean we can't say f*ck?

Elsa: (appearing onto shot with Anna) No.

Marshmallow: What about sh*t?

Anna: Nope.

Olaf: D*ck?

Kristoff: Uh-uh.

Marshmallow: C*nt?

Elsa: No.

Olaf: B*tch?

Anna: No.

Marshmallow: Little c*nty b*tch?

Kristoff: No and no.

Olaf: What about tw*t-snatcher?

Elsa: Who would ever even say that?

Marshmallow: We've been workshopping it.

…

(In the cave, during _Be Prepared_)

Scar: Well, would you like to hear me tell a joke?

Banzai: Yeah. Yeah, we'd love to hear a joke from you. (Ed starts laughing again)

Scar: Knock knock.

Shenzi: …Who's there?

Scar: (pause, then deadpan) Go fuck yourselves.

The Hyenas: (EPIC JAW DROPS)

Director: Who do you think you are? Carl Hanratty?

Scar: No, Sir, that would be Sheriff Woody. (beat) Or was that Forrest Gump?

…

(Nowadays Disney characters sure have adapted the vocabulary of Bob the Builder!)

…

(During the panic attacking scene, the smoke clears. But instead of the pigeon standing there unharmed…_it's Stitch_. He quickly rolls out of the camera shot once he realizes where he is)

Big Hero 6: (simultaneously) Oh no.

…

(In _Up_, Carl opens the door…)

Stitch: (holding a knife out) WANNA BUY SOME KNIVES? (gets the door slammed on him)

…

Anna: (Reaches into bag and sticks a…stick onto Olaf's face) No, that's not it.

(Take 2)

Anna: (Reaches into bag and sticks…a corn cob on Olaf's face) Oh, oops!

Sven: (Brays loudly)

Kristoff: Oh, it's yours!

(Take 3)

Anna: (Reaches into bag and sticks…an ice cream cone on Olaf's face. She sheepishly looks into the camera) I was planning to have that after lunch.

Olaf: Can we do it the correct way now? (starts walking away)

Director: Cut!

…

(In the ballroom, Young!Elsa accidently strikes Young!Anna on the head)

Elsa: (runs over to her side) Anna! (sees the white streak forming on Anna's hair, then turns to the camera) Can I say that curse word now? (Anna starts giggling, then Elsa starts giggling, ruining the scene—they can't continue)

Director: Cut!

…

(At the Snuggly Duckling Bar)

Rapunzel: (holding a Totoro doll close up to her) I _loved_ you in Toy Story 3. (realizes she's still on) Oh, oh we're back! (puts the plush down) Okay, bye. I love you!

…

(Almost a wedding scene)

Priest: And you, Vanessa?

(Birds come flying down onto the ship. But all the seagulls go after the cake instead of attacking the people, all shouting "Mine mine mine!" repeatedly)

Vanessa: (pointing to the seagull-covered wedding cake) Um, is this right?

Director: Oh _no_. These aren't the seagulls we ordered.

…

(Betrayal scene)

Anna: Why would you think any of this was a good idea?

Hans: (walking out the door) Probably because I'm a dangerous sociopath with a long history of violence.

Anna: (beat) Oh.

Hans: I don't understand how you keep forgetting that.

…

**Sorry that this chapter is short. And yes, I'm aware I was pushing the limit here in this last chapter.**


	8. Chapter 8

A short chapter with special mention to _Inside Out_!

…

(At first meeting)

Olaf: Are you my family?

Kristoff: You don't have a family, and we're all going to die. Sorry. (Olaf's face falls)

Anna: (facepalming) Seriously, bro. Not cool.

…

(Animated version)

Cinderella: (is dancing with the Prince at the ball when she accidently belches right in his face) Oh e-excuse me… (turning red) Oh, this wretched, tiny dress…

Director: That's it. You're on the liquid diet.

…

(Proposal scene)

Belle: I just don't deserve you! (Gaston goes flying out the door—but we hear a loud "BANG" instead of a loud "SPLASH". The camera reveal Gaston crashed his head against a rock at the end of the pond.)

LeFou: (goes up to the camera, points to Gaston) Too far.

…

(At the ending, there were major changes made after this Deleted Scene and What Could Have Been was filmed. This is a direct Shout Out to _Meet Dave_.)

(While skating on the ice, Jordan—another hockey player, collides right into Riley and causes her helmet to fly off, and they both fall. The whistle blows, and everyone else leaves the rink. The boy stands up first.)

Jordan: (to Riley) Hi, are you all right? (zoom into Riley's head after she stands up)

Sadness: It's a boy!

Disgust: A boy!

Anger: A boy?!

Fear: AAH, A BOY‼

Joy: A boy. (squeals) He's _cute_! (turns to the other emotions) Contact, everyone! Our first—verbal—encounter.

Jordan: (not sure on how to react to a girl) Uh…

Joy: (into a speaker, right at the screen) "Thank you for your concern."

Riley: (high, raspy voice) Thank you for your concern. (Jordan becomes a bit fearful at the tone he just heard)

Joy: It's way too high. More bass! (Fear pushes some buttons which causes Riley to try to sound more mature)

Riley: (deep, raspy voice) Thank you for your concern. (Jordan looks puzzled this time)

Joy: Level the frequency. (Fear turns a dial, which causes Riley to clear her throat) "I'm—."

Riley: (smiling confidently, normal voice) —All better now.

(Beat)

Female Hockey Player: (to Jordan) How hard did you hit this girl?

…

(Deleted scene + What Could Have Been)

(Riley is outside, looking for a place to sit at lunchtime, when suddenly, she and another kid bump into each other. This causes her to drop her tray and the food to fall on the ground)

Riley: (stares at her food, then looks up at the girl who bumped into her) HEY! (zoom in)

Anger: ARRGH! (He thrashes around and screams the curse word he's always wanted to scream, not realizing that he's too close to the microphone on the control panel—this causes Riley to scream the very same curse word in the outside world)

All the other kids: (Stop talking and turn around to stare at Riley.)

Fear: Woah, who left the mike on? (runs over and switches the microphone off. In the outside world, Riley shrinks back and covers her mouth in what she had done.)

Disgust: (sarcastically) Yeah Fear, we were NOT all thinking "Is This Thing Still On?"

…

(Depression)

Fear: I wish Joy was here. (Joy and Sadness come flying—and crash right through the medium-thick sheet glass window, which completely fall apart)

Sadness: (Despite being covered in glass and blood, she and Joy still manage to stand up and talk) _Still_ too thin, guys. (Falls down)

…

(Dream filming scene)

Bing Bong: Who's your friend that likes to play? (accidently knocks down the camera with his trunk) Sorry!

…

(Skype scene)

Anger: Aaahhh! (slams his fist down on the console—and breaks the console into two halves. He gets an "Oh, Crap" expression) Um...

…

(First meeting)

Bing Bong: (shakes his imaginary bag of holding…and an anvil first falls out and lands on his foot) YEOWWW!

(Take 2)

Bing Bong: (once again shakes his bag…and a flock of seagulls burst out and fly all over the place, shouting "Mine mine mine!" Joy and Sadness scream and take cover as if this was an air raid) Oh, there they are—(steps aside to reveal a WHOLE BUNCH of imaginary bags behind him) What?

…

(Note: I bet by now, you're probably getting tired of the jokes used over again, like the "MINE seagulls".)

…

(Ice palace scene)

Olaf: …Sixty! (runs in with a black book) HELLO WOULD YOU LIKE TO CHANGE RELIGIONS I HAVE A FREE BOOK WRITTEN BY JESUS!

Scriptwriter: No, NO, Elder Olaf! That's not how we do it!


	9. Chapter 9

**This fanfiction is finished. It's done. I don't want to abandon it and leave people wondering what's next. All good things must come to an end, and I thank all of you readers for reading this, laughing with it, commenting on it, and offering suggestions. But now I must go to work on new projects and videos, and put some newer, less-stale ideas for humour in my stories. Remember, I'm still here—I'll always be, doing perfectly fine in my life. I'll be very busy at school, so don't expect anything anytime soon.**

**I will, however, share my favourite bloopers before closing this off:**

…

(Hiro showcasing his microbots, when the microbots go in the hand shape, they create a "flipping the bird" shape towards the camera. The audience below screams)

Hiro: (trying to control his laughter) S-sorry!

Director: Cut! That is not appropriate!

…

(Starting the "Meet Kristoff's family" scene)

Director: Action!

Kristoff: Guys, meet my family!

(One of the Trolls burps loudly in rock form and then unrolls)

Male Troll: WOO! I don't remember eating THAT!

Director: Cut!

(All the other trolls unroll too and start complaining how this is the _fifth_ take already for this scene)

Male Troll: Sorry! I had the bean burrito for lunch!

…

(Hans leaning in for the betraying kiss scene)

Hans: Oh, Anna…if only there was someone out there who loved you. (Cellphone rings as Hans walks to window.) Hm? (He picks up) Hello? Yes, this is Hans…

Anna: (confused by change) Uh…?

Hans: (on phone) What's that? You got me a cameo role in _Big Hero 6_ like I asked? Oh, good! I'll be right there tomorrow-.

Anna: Hans, you're messing up the scene!

Hans: Uh, hold on a sec- (covers mouthpiece, to cameraman) Hey, can you keep rolling?

Anna: You're making it worse!

Director: CUT! Why did you have your cellphone with you anyway?

Hans: SORRY! (to his Agent on the phone) I gotta go now, bye! (hangs up)

Anna: (yelling at Hans) Shut up! We've been working on this all week!

…

(Coronation morning scene)

Kai (the servant): (knocking) Princess Anna?

Anna: (waking up) Huh?

Kai: Princess Anna?

Anna: (sitting up) No, Officer, I swear… (the crew starts laughing) Huh? What'd I say? What?

(Take 2)

Kai: (Instead of calling Anna's name and knocking, he plays a bugle fanfare)

Anna: (bolts awake, startled) AHH! AHH! AHH! Private Anna reporting for duty SIR! (the crew laughs as she comes to realization) Heeeyyy…

Kai: (laughing) Sorry, I couldn't resist…

Director: Cut!

…

(During _Part of your World_)

Ariel: _Bright young women,_ _sick of swimming in our own-_

Sebastian: (Yanks her hair) SHHH! Don't say it, Ariel!

Director: Cut!

…

(When Hiro and Baymax are sneaking out, Aunt Cass is watching a midnight movie-but it's not the horror one she's supposed to be watching…)

TV Woman: Oh John…

TV Man: Oh Mary…

TV Woman: Oh John!

TV Man: Oh Mary!

(Cass' eyes widen and she blushes the more intense the scene gets. Baymax stops to watch)

TV Woman: Oh John!

TV Man: Oh Mary!

TV Woman: OH JOHN!

TV Man: OH MARY!

(Not even Hiro is able to take his eyes off the steamy scene when he tries to snatch Baymax away)

Director: CUT! Who gave her the wrong tape?

Cass: (still watching the TV) Oh, but we always just could throw it in…

Director: No way, this is a Disney movie.

...

(At the Oakens store scene again)

Oaken: (holding up items) We have half-off on golf clubs and golf balls in case you have time for golf, and a plastic steak, and this rubber-ducky (squeaks the duck), and a yo-yo!

...

(At the Oakens store scene yet again)

Oaken: (holding up items) We have this extra bouncy, bouncy ball, and these fake toy teeth! Careful, they chatter! (throws the teeth at Anna, which immediately start chattering)

Anna: (fumbling the teeth in her hands) WOOAHH!

...

(At the Oakens store scene yet again)

Oaken: (holding up items) We have these crayons, in case you get bored, and also this pet rat for sale! (Anna runs off the set screaming as soon as she sees the large rat in the cage)

...

(At the Oakens store scene for the fifth time)

Oaken: (holding up items) We have these free old dimes, call me, and Troll candy!

Anna: Troll candy? For what?

Oaken: Well, for the Trolls, of course! Hoo-hoo! Come here, Trolls! (Troll kids roll up and surround the counter)

Anna: (tired) Can we get on with the real scene now? (stumbling off set and puts hand over camera)

Director: Cut…

...

(When Elsa is crying over Annas frozen body, a cellphone suddenly rings)

Elsa: (stops crying) Hm? (She picks up her ringing phone) Hello? Elise, I told you not to call me today! We're filming! (An annoyed Hans, who was just knocked down, walks up, shakes his head, and puts his hand on the camera while Anna can't keep a straight face)

Director: Cuuuuut!

...

(Tigger bouncing (2011))

Tigger: Blugadeboo! (Bounces too high and crashes right through the ceiling)

Pooh: (stares at the ceiling) Oohhh, bother. (Turns to camera) The third take, right?

Director: Cut!

...

(Pooh's entrance (2011))

Pooh: How do I look? (The camera shows Winnie wearing a Monokuma costume-it fits _too_ perfectly and rather literally) I found it in the costuming department! (Giggles)

Narrator: (shielding his eyes, offscreen) Er, yes, it's very…resembling someone we don't wanna remember…SIIRR!

Director: CUT! I told you guys to get rid of that costume!

...

(Deleted scene, Hans is wearing prison stripes and sitting on a bed. We hear the cell clang shut)

Hans: (angry tone) _Love is an open door…_

Stromboli (aka The Satan Coachman from _Pinocchio_): (to Hans) HEY! (camera pans out to reveal he is lying on the upper bunk, also wearing prison stripes) SHUT the F%*#, UP!

…

(In the middle of _Fixer Upper_, Hans suddenly jumps in and bumps Kristoff out of the view)

Hans: Yes, she is engaged to _me_! (Grabs Anna) Come on, sing with me! _I mean it's crazy…_(He _and_ Anna continue singing their song, but when they get to the near end, Anna is taken away by the Trolls using a vaudeville hook-Hans is singing all by himself now) _Love is an open door…_(Promptly gets pelted by rotten food thrown at him by the booing Trolls-yes, that includes the children) Ow! _Encore!_ Ow!

Director: CUT!

…

(Stress eating scene)

Cass: (angrily eating a donut) Stress eating! Because of you! Mm, this is _really_ good! (Suddenly grabs her throat) Uugh! I think I got a bad donut! (ducks below the camera and starts spitting. Hiro and Tadashi start laughing)

Director: Cut, cut!

…

(Meet Kristoff's family scene)

Olaf: (Hugging a rock Troll while whispering to Anna) Because I love you Anna, I insist you go throw up! (beat, then everyone but Olaf starts laughing hysterically. The director can barely be heard yelling "cut".) What? What? What'd I say? What?

…

(Wolf chase scene)

Anna: (holding a lute) IT'S TRUE LOVE! (swings lute-and knocks Kristoff right out of the sled) Oh my gosh! I'm sorry!

Director: Cut!

…

(Arriving at Elsa's palace, Marshmallow is supposed to look like a mound of snow near the stairs)

Hans: Hey guys, uh, where's Marshmallow? (we then hear a loud crunching sound from offscreen)

Marshmallow: (from the Men's Room offscreen) AHH! DO NOT EAT THE BLUE MINTS! PFT!

(Beep beep)

…

(After falling off the cliff)

Kristoff: Thankfully, I have a thick skull.

(Beat)

Kristoff and Anna: (look around) Olaf? (we hear a flushing sound from offscreen)

Olaf: (runs out from the Men's Room offscreen) AH! PFT! PFT! PFT! DO NOT DRINK THE LEMONADE!

(Beep beep)

…

(Palace scene)

Anna: (slides to stairway and shouts dramatically) NOBODY MOVE!

Elsa: (appearing) Uh, Anna?

Anna: Elsa, I've got to get you out of here before you touch yourself! (beat) HAAHH-! (Both laugh. Elsa facepalms and blushes. The crew roars with laughter)

(Beep beep)

…

(Normally, I don't do Pixar movies, but this is an exception)

(Fergus and Elinor open the door, but it's not the door to reveal Merida eating an apple…)

Elsa: (the door opens to her singing in the ice-coated bathtub taking a shower, looks at the camera, then screams) AAAHH! (and covers up, turning red) What's happening?

Fergus: (backs away) Sorry…sorry!

Anna: (walks in, stands beside Elsa, furious) What is WRONG with you people?!

(Anna throws something and it hits Fergus in the face. The door slams shut)

…

(Maximus, not Sitron, is Hans' horse. When waving goodbye to Anna, Maximus jabs Hans into the stomach just like he did to Flynn in _Tangled_. Hans flies and splashes into the water with a yell.)

Director: Cut!

Flynn: (walks into scene) Hey, how was _that_? Was he funny? Does he get the part?

Director: Thank you.

Flynn: Aw, can he do it again? He can be _taller_!

Director: Next!

…

(I've always wanted to make a _The Great Muppet Caper_ reference!)

(Deleted scene in _Frozen Fever_, Elsa holds out a Polaroid camera and asks a nearby couple if…)

Elsa: How about you folks? Pretty picture with the Majesty and the birthday Princess together?

Man: No thanks, no pictures.

Anna: Aw, come on, it'll be a great memento for you and your wife!

Man: My wife isn't feeling very well.

Anna: (looks at the woman) Oh, that's too bad. Maybe she-(Eyes Elsa) _and my sister_-should be at home!

Man: My wife IS at home!

(Hearing that, Elsa and Anna flush red and stammer incoherently)

Elsa: Yes. (To Anna) _Next stop_!

…

(Introduction)

Baymax: On a scale of one to ten, how would you rate your pain? (instead of the chart, the monitor on his chest shows a clip of Hiro getting a game over during his attempted "Let's Play" of _Five Nights at Freddy's_) Oh no.

…

(Baymax is walking on the roads with the microbot, when a cable bus smashes into him. Baymax goes flying, and we hear the crew laughing)

Baymax: (offscreen) Oh no.

…

(Before the final race starts)

Pinkie Pie: (teleports into shot, her face smeared with sugary goodness) HIII!

Vanellope: (sitting in her cart) In the game!? Pinkie Pie! What did the judge say?! He said 800 yards! This is not 800 yards! Don't you have an Amber Alert you should be running from?!

...

(The snowgies all move into the ice palace at the end of _Frozen Fever_)

Marshmallow: (sees the sheer number of snowgies) _Oh sh*t._

Director: CUT! You can't curse in a Disney short!

Olaf: So you mean we can't say f*ck?

Elsa: (appearing onto shot with Anna) No.

Marshmallow: What about sh*t?

Anna: Nope.

Olaf: D*ck?

Kristoff: Uh-uh.

Marshmallow: C*nt?

Elsa: No.

Olaf: B*tch?

Anna: No.

Marshmallow: Little c*nty b*tch?

Kristoff: No and no.

Olaf: What about tw*t-snatcher?

Elsa: Who would ever even say that?

Marshmallow: We've been workshopping it.

…

(In the cave, during _Be Prepared_)

Scar: Well, would you like to hear me tell a joke?

Banzai: Yeah. Yeah, we'd love to hear a joke from you. (Ed starts laughing again)

Scar: Knock knock.

Shenzi: …Who's there?

Scar: (pause, then deadpan) Go fuck yourselves.

The Hyenas: (EPIC JAW DROPS)

Director: Who do you think you are? Carl Hanratty?

Scar: No, Sir, that would be Sheriff Woody. (beat) Or was that Forrest Gump?

…

(Almost a wedding scene)

Priest: And you, Vanessa?

(Birds come flying down onto the ship. But all the seagulls go after the cake instead of attacking the people, all shouting "Mine mine mine!" repeatedly)

Vanessa: (pointing to the seagull-covered wedding cake) Um, is this right?

Director: Oh _no_. These aren't the seagulls we ordered.

…

(Betrayal scene)

Anna: Why would you think any of this was a good idea?

Hans: (walking out the door) Probably because I'm a dangerous sociopath with a long history of violence.

Anna: (beat) Oh.

Hans: I don't understand how you keep forgetting that.

…

(Animated version)

Cinderella: (is dancing with the Prince at the ball when she accidently belches right in his face) Oh e-excuse me… (turning red) Oh, this wretched, tiny dress…

Director: That's it. You're on the liquid diet.

…

(At the ending, there were major changes made after this Deleted Scene and What Could Have Been was filmed. This is a direct Shout Out to _Meet Dave_.)

(While skating on the ice, Jordan—another hockey player, collides right into Riley and causes her helmet to fly off, and they both fall. The whistle blows, and everyone else leaves the rink. The boy stands up first.)

Jordan: (to Riley) Hi, are you all right? (zoom into Riley's head after she stands up)

Sadness: It's a boy!

Disgust: A boy!

Anger: A boy?!

Fear: AAH, A BOY‼

Joy: A boy. (squeals) He's _cute_! (turns to the other emotions) Contact, everyone! Our first—verbal—encounter.

Jordan: (not sure on how to react to a girl) Uh…

Joy: (into a speaker, right at the screen) "Thank you for your concern."

Riley: (high, raspy voice) Thank you for your concern. (Jordan becomes a bit fearful at the tone he just heard)

Joy: It's way too high. More bass! (Fear pushes some buttons which causes Riley to try to sound more mature)

Riley: (deep, raspy voice) Thank you for your concern. (Jordan looks puzzled this time)

Joy: Level the frequency. (Fear turns a dial, which causes Riley to clear her throat) "I'm—."

Riley: (smiling confidently, normal voice) —All better now.

(Beat)

Female Hockey Player: (to Jordan) How hard did you hit this girl?

…

(Deleted scene + What Could Have Been)

(Riley is outside, looking for a place to sit at lunchtime, when suddenly, she and another kid bump into each other. This causes her to drop her tray and the food to fall on the ground)

Riley: (stares at her food, then looks up at the girl who bumped into her) HEY! (zoom in)

Anger: ARRGH! (He thrashes around and screams the curse word he's always wanted to scream, not realizing that he's too close to the microphone on the control panel—this causes Riley to scream the very same curse word in the outside world)

All the other kids: (Stop talking and turn around to stare at Riley.)

Fear: Woah, who left the mike on? (runs over and switches the microphone off. In the outside world, Riley shrinks back and covers her mouth in what she had done.)

Disgust: (sarcastically) Yeah Fear, we were NOT all thinking "Is This Thing Still On?"

…

(Dream filming scene)

Bing Bong: Who's your friend that likes to play? (accidentally knocks down the camera with his trunk) Sorry!

…

**_THE END._**

**_FAREWELL._**

**_THANKS FOR READING!_**


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